


Oh Man, You Just Got Catfished

by ronans



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Anonymity, Catfish - Freeform, F/M, Famous Dean, Famous Gabriel, Humans, Internet, M/M, Online Dating, Online Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Reality TV, TV Show Setting, Tumblr, Twist you may possibly see coming, but I'm hoping it stays mostly twist like, online
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronans/pseuds/ronans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester and Gabriel 'Batman' host a TV show about online relationships. When they receive an email from a man named Castiel who has been talking to a guy called Samandriel for the past two years, they begrudgingly, like with every case, drag themselves to Pontiac to try to set Castiel up with his 'dream guy'. What they don't expect is... well, <em>that</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I know how the relationship tags look but this is a Dean/Cas fic mainly with Meg/Cas being past and Samandriel/Cas the reason Cas contacts Dean and Gabriel in the first place. I'm just warning you now that this is a destiel fic.  
> Uh, also, I really liked the idea of Dean and Gabriel hosting a show and I watched a hella load of Catfish and then blerg, this came out. Hope you like it and I shall be updating weekly. Happy Mary Winchester death day! :) Oh god…

‘Hi, I’m Dean Winchester.’

‘And I’m Gabriel Batman.’

Dean turned to face his co-host. ‘Dude.’

‘What?’

‘ _Dude_ , you’re not Batman.’

‘I could totally be Batman.’

Dean groaned and faced the camera once more. ‘Welcome to Hellhounds, the show about online relationships.’

‘Okay, guys, that was _great_ ,’ Garth said, grinning.

‘I say we go again,’ Dean grumbled, staring pointedly at Gabriel.

‘Well I say the Batman was genius, bro!’

‘Come on, Garth, that’s an overreaction.’

Garth stared at Dean with wide eyes until the presenter grumbled, ‘Fucking _fine_ , the intro stays.’

‘Hells yeah!’ Gabriel said with a fist pump. ‘Okay, so now we do the bit where we pretend to look through everyone’s emails.’

‘Okay. Garth, you ready?’

‘Yup!’ Garth signalled that he was rolling and Dean opened up the laptop.

‘Okay, so we’ve got a ton of emails… Hey, Gabe, come check this one out,’ Dean uttered, motioning for Gabriel to join him on the motel bed.

Dean cleared his throat and read out the email.

‘ _Dear Dean, my name is Castiel Milton and I’ve been talking to a man named Samandriel Johnston for the past two years but we haven’t had the opportunity to meet up nor speak on the phone. I have expressed my desire to do so but Samandriel appears to always be busy and something always comes up. He claims that his job as a photographer keeps him constantly occupied. My concern for how truthful Samandriel is being grows daily but I do feel we have a connection. I was hoping you could help me with this problem._ ’

‘Text book,’ Gabriel muttered under his breath. Dean elbowed him in the side before presenting.

‘Sounds suspicious that he won’t meet up. And this Castiel guy sounds nice enough, right?’

‘Weird ass names, though, man. Weird. Ass. Names.’

‘Okay, cut, _Garth_. You can’t just say that!’ Dean sighed as he rubbed his temples. ‘Right, Gabe, you say something, present or whatever. Start rolling again.’

Gabriel plastered his trademark mischievous smirk on and commented. ‘This ‘Samandriel’ seems a little _too_ angelic. I say we take the case!’

‘Sounds good to me. Let’s Skype Castiel and go from there.’

Dean smiled and added the provided cas_comatose as a contact on Skype and video called him.

‘Hello,’ Castiel said and Dean was instantly hit by the man’s aesthetic appeal. Dean coughed slightly to cover up his shock and smiled at the man in a professional manner.

‘Hey, Castiel, right?’

‘Yes, that is me. I’m honoured you would choose to assist me over the many others who have surely requested your help,’ Castiel said sincerely in a gravelly voice that seemed to shoot up Dean’s spine and make him shiver.

Dean frowned a little at the man’s way of speaking but still quirked up the corner of his mouth. ‘Well, don’t mention it. You seem like a great guy and we’d be happy to help.’

Gabriel snorted but didn’t say anything directed at Dean. ‘Okay, Cassie, my man, we’ll swing by tomorrow and get all the deets.’

‘That would be wonderful. Thank you, again.’

‘No probs, bro.’ Gabriel grinned before ending the call. He motioned for Garth to stop filming and instantly lay back on the mattress, overcome with laughter. ‘Dude!’

‘What the hell, Gabe?’

‘You seem like a _great guy_. Jesus, Dean, your man crush is showing.’

Dean’s brow creased. ‘What? I don’t- What?’

‘You said it a little _too_ sincerely, man. I’m surprised you haven’t got a boner.’

‘Shut up,’ Dean snapped.

‘Oh shit, dude. Just don’t let this mess with the show, okay? You can pine over him in secret but just don’t ravage him on camera.’

Dean groaned in annoyance and flipped Gabriel off.

‘Hey, if you even need an excited Little Dean killer, just remember that time you caught me and you brother-‘

‘Holy _fucking_ Christ, do you not know when to shut up?!’ Dean practically screeched, scarring memories starting to resurface.

Gabriel smiled lewdly. ‘You’re thinkin’ ‘bout it. I can see it on your face, you’re seeing the banana and chocolate-‘

Dean covered his ears and stormed out of the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him and putting distance between himself, his co-host, his cameraman and the laptop. This was going to be a long few days.


	2. Chapter 2

‘You all packed, man?’ Dean asked Garth after barely stifling a yawn. He looked at Castiel’s address again before slinging his own bag over his shoulder.

‘Yeah, I just… Have you seen Mr Fizzles?’

Dean frowned at the obvious distress in Garth’s tone. ‘Uh, no, where-‘

A loud curse sounded out from the locked bathroom.

‘Gabe?’

‘Uh… I uh… I didn’t know it was Mr Fizzles, honest!’ Gabriel called.

Dean’s frown deepened before he realised what his friend meant. He gagged a little. ‘Oh god. Garth, uh… don’t… don’t _touch_ Mr Fizzles, okay?’

‘Might be a little moist!’ Gabriel added as further explanation. Dean gagged again and Garth’s face began to warp with horror as realisation dawned on him.

‘You didn’t! You did _not_ use Mr Fizzles for that!’

‘I think I did,’ Gabriel sang from the bathroom. ‘Needed to take care of business sometime, bro.’

‘Oh, man, that’s _nasty_!’ Garth shouted, scrunching his face up.

‘Dude, that was _not_ cool,’ Dean said to Gabriel through the door.

‘ _Totally_ not cool,’ Garth confirmed, leaning against the wall for support. Dean patted his shoulder.

‘Gabe, can you maybe quit… _taking care of business_ and let’s get this damn show on the road.’

‘Fine, fine, fine,’ Gabriel groaned, stepping into the room looking far too happy with himself.

‘You got everything?’

‘Yes, I’ve got everything. That’s about the ninetieth time you’ve asked me.’

‘I know what you’re like, Gabe. We’ll get on the road and then you’ll start screaming about how you left your orange boxers in the shower or somethin’.’

Gabriel rolled his eyes and slapped his co-host on the back. ‘Ya know, Dean-o, I really am hurt at your lack of faith in me.’

Dean rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever, let’s go.’

The three men checked out of the motel and loaded up the car with their stuff, Dean driving, Gabriel riding shotgun and Garth in the back, covered in camera gear.

‘Friggin’ hate this car,’ Dean muttered as he pulled out of the parking lot in the hired vehicle.

‘So where is this dude?’ Gabriel played up for the various cameras pointed at him from the dashboard.

‘Illinois, I think,’ Dean replied, squinting out of the windshield.

Gabriel nodded his head before he groaned. ‘Wait, where are we now?’

Dean smirked. ‘Cali.’

‘Are you fucking _kidding_ me?!’ Gabriel screeched, hitting the roof of the car. Dean attempted to stifle his laughter.

‘No, little man. Got just over a day of hard-core driving.’

Gabriel stared at Dean. ‘I hate you. I hate you and your irrational fear of flying you stupid fuck.’

Dean flat out laughed in Gabe’s face. ‘Sucks to be you.’

‘Dean’s kidding, we’re flying over there,’ Garth piped up from the back.

‘Aw, Garth, couldn’t we have just let him stew for a little longer?’

‘Sorry, man.’

‘Thank Christ for that, I swear to god, Winchester, you do that again, I’m squeezing your ass on camera again and this time I _won’t_ let Garth cut it out.’

A sick feeling began to stir in Dean’s stomach. ‘Okay, okay.’

Hastily, most likely breaking a few traffic laws, they reached the airport.

‘Okay, Gabe… I am gonna ask you _one_ more time, have you-‘

‘Yes, Dean, I have everything!’ Gabriel whined as he watched his suitcase disappear on the conveyor belt.

‘Great! Alright then, all aboard the flying metal cage of death!’ Dean smiled weakly and shivered a little, looking at the queue of passengers in front of him waiting to board the plane.

‘Deanie, pout for the camera.’ Gabriel snatched the Nikon out of Garth’s hands and shoved it in Dean’s face.

‘I’m gonna kill you, you gigantic asshole,’ Dean growled, batting the camera out of his face irritably.

‘Aw, you’re so _cute_ when you’re mad!’

‘Gabe, that shit’s expensive, give it back to Garth.’

Garth held out his hand and raised an eyebrow at the presenter, wiggling his fingers a little. ‘Come on, Gabey.’

Gabriel unceremoniously thrust the camera into Garth’s palm and huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘You guys are no fun.’

Dean rolled his eyes and then glared at the movement of the line.

‘We’re on the move, Dean-o, think you can stomach it?’

‘Of course I can stomach it… I do this all the time,’ Dean scoffed even as his insides twisted with nausea.

‘You seriously picked the worst TV job with your fear of planes, man,’ Garth commented, shaking his head from side to side.

‘Yeah, no shit, thanks, Garth.’

‘You get so pissy when you’re scared, it’s adorable,’ Gabriel cooed, grabbing Dean’s cheek.

‘Leave me alone, dickwad.’ Dean bit his lip and tried to steer the conversation back to the job in hand. ‘So, this… _Castiel_ … You found out anything else about him?’


	3. Chapter 3

‘Where’s the motel?’ Gabriel asked, turning down another unfamiliar street.

‘I don’t fucking know,’ Dean groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes.

‘Dude, are you hung over?’

‘No.’

‘The airport’s miles away now, Dean. Chill, man,’ Garth murmured cheerfully, a broad grin on his face.

‘Yeah, I’m aware, Garth, thanks.’

Gabriel chuckled and glanced at one of the cameras. ‘So, we all ready to meet Castiel?’

‘Yeah, Gabe.’

‘Good. He seems like a _great guy_ , right?’

Without even looking at Gabriel, Dean lifted his arm slightly and then his middle finger.

Gabriel decided to keep on topic. ‘What’re your first thoughts on Samadriel?’

Dean removed his hand from his face and shrugged. ‘He seems like a pretty standard Hellhound. But, for all we know, he could be being truthful, we just can’t tell at this point.’

Gabriel hummed in agreement before pausing, a slow smirk spreading across his lips. ‘Bet you guys five bucks he’s got less than ten photos on his profile.’

‘Gabe, shut up. I’m sure you looked ahead at the dude’s account anyway.’

‘Aw, come on. Just because you know you’ll lose the bet!’

‘Nope. Not happening. Last time I did a bet with you, I won, you thought I cheated and you tried to set my eyebrows on fire!’ Garth said from the back.

Gabriel bellowed out a laugh that made Dean wince. ‘Okay, fine, you both suck.’

‘Oh, hey, you just missed the turning,’ Dean pointed out.

‘This reminds me, _why_ aren’t you driving?’ Gabriel questioned, frowning at his co-host.

‘Because I’m hung over.’

‘Ay! I knew it!’

‘Would you please stop fucking shouting?’

‘Nope!’ Gabriel yelled before sharply turning around a corner, tyres screeching against the tarmac.

‘Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell, Gabriel?!’

‘Now look who’s the one screaming,’ Gabriel commented, rolling his eyes. ‘We’re here!’ he announced, jerking to a stop.

Dean glared at the other man. ‘Yeah, I get that.’

‘I get that too.’

‘Shut up, Garth.’

‘Jeez! You’re so grumpy today!’ Gabriel practically bounced out of the car and then ran to get their bags from the trunk.

Garth’s gangly limbs were next to leave the car. His shoulders sagged under the weight of the camera bags but he still seemed on top of the moon, his default mood.

‘Didn’t the rest of the crew say they’d meet us here?’ Dean asked, squinting his eyes against the late afternoon sun.

‘They’re getting here in the morning. You’re gonna have to message Cassie and say that we’ll be with him a little later than we first thought.’

‘Why do _I_ have to message him?’

‘Because you’ve got a fantastically huge gay crush on him,’ Gabriel said with a clap on Dean’s back. He bounded into the motel room before Dean could reply, leaving him out in the empty parking lot to grumble.

‘I said _one_ thing, one _slightly_ gay thing – actually, it wasn’t even gay - and you think- ergh.’

Dean shouldered the last of the bags and then locked up the hired car before following Gabriel into their home for the next few days.

‘So we’ve gotta do some shots in the motel,’ Garth said, ever-wide eyes scanning over the new surroundings. ‘This ain’t too shabby. Could have done with a hot tub though, guys.’

‘You say that every time we check into a hotel and _every_ time, we say no.’

‘Still worth a shot though, Dean,’ Garth sighed, staring wistfully at the hot tub-less attached bathroom.

‘Whatever. Okay, so what do you need us to do?’

Garth tapped his chin before picking up one of the smaller cameras and fiddling with the settings. ‘Just look around at stuff, I guess. Pick up some crap, talk a little, the usual.’

‘Okie-dokie,’ Gabriel replied, grinning. ‘Read, Dean-o?’

‘As I’ll ever be.’ Dean heaved a sigh and began to prod buttons on the room’s prehistoric TV.

‘Sweet TV,’ Gabriel laughed. ‘You think it’s got the Casa Erotica channel?’

‘Yeah, I think not,’ Dean chuckled, giving up and turning it off.

‘I was in one of those.’

Dean frowned. ‘One of those what?’

‘Casa Erotica movies.’

Dean’s nose wrinkled and he rubbed at his eyes. ‘Oh god.’

‘Yeah, I wore Speedos and everything. I looked hot.’

‘Oh _god_ ,’ Dean repeated.

‘That’s what she said.’ Gabriel waggled his eyebrows.

Dean shook his head roughly. ‘Alright, I’m done. TV star, beauty rest.’ Dean threw himself down on his bed.

‘Oh, I thought you loved my porno-themed stories!’

‘No,’ Dean replied simply.

Garth laughed and then shut the camera off. ‘Great, guys. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Gabe, get some rest.’

‘Fine, Garth, leave me with the grumpy dick.’

‘Shhh,’ Dean mumbled into his pillow.

‘Why is it that we always end up sharing a room, Dean?’

‘Because no one else can stand you, now, let me sleep.’

‘Aw, I’m so damn touched.’

‘Night, dudes,’ Garth said with a smile, ignoring them both, before leaving the room to go into the one next-door.

Gabriel scowled at Dean’s now unconscious form for a few moments. ‘Fine, I guess _I’ll_ message Castiel.’

After he typed out the short, surprisingly – for Gabriel – professional, email to the client, he shifted his eyes to the digital clock: 5:34.

‘Too early,’ he whined to no one before grabbing his coat, nabbing the car keys off the table and sneaking out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, they're Hellhounds instead of Catfish... They sound slightly more vicious and threatening but I'm going with it.  
> Next chapter will either be Gabriel in a bar being the sleazy bastard that he is _or_ Dean waking up and then the camera crew and such... what do you think?


	4. Chapter 4

8:30

Gabriel sighed and threw back the last gulp of his daiquiri. His eyes scanned the bar for the umpteenth time before landing on a short brunette woman at the other end of the counter. Gabriel smirked and practically glided over to her side.

‘Hey, good lookin’.’

The woman raised an eyebrow and turned to look him up and down. ‘Hey yourself.’

Gabriel waggled his eyebrows and slithered even closer to her. ‘What’s a gorgeous woman such as yourself doing alone in a bar like this?’

She continued to stare at him incredulously for a moment longer before her countenance morphed into something entirely different; she was suddenly playing a game. Something close to recognition flitted across her face before her expression settled on flirtatious.

‘Well, I,’ she paused to puff out her chest a little, instantly drawing Gabriel’s eyes to her cleavage. ‘I guess I was just waiting for someone to take me home.’

Gabriel grinned. ‘What’s your name?’

‘You can call me Meg. And what about you?’

‘Gabriel,’ he answered instantly, eyes glittering.

‘Ooo, sounds… _angelic_.’

‘Oh, it sure is, sweetheart. Now, where I’m headed isn’t home exactly but… care to accompany me anyway?’

Meg’s mouth stretched into a sickly sweet smile, showing off her straight white teeth. ‘Sure, stud.’

Gabriel chuckled at her response and then placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the dimly lit bar.

‘So, where’re we headed?’ she asked, folding her arms around her torso tightly to shield herself from the cold.

‘Uh…’ Gabriel floundered for a moment before remembering that he, Dean and Garth had passed another, slightly skeevier looking, motel on the way to their nicer one. ‘The Pink Pearl Motel.’

Meg wrinkled her nose, making no effort to hide her distaste. ‘Sounds wonderful.’

‘Beats the alley.’

‘Classy,’ Meg responded, syrupy voice laced in sarcasm. Gabriel then led her to the car the team had hired and took her back to the motel. There was a reason he didn’t return to his and Dean’s room until late morning the next day.

*

‘You can’t just fucking _waltz_ here, from wherever the _fuck_ you spent the night, at _eleven-o-fucking-clock_ and expect me to _chill_ ,’ Dean forced out hotly.

‘The crew arrived here hours go, Gabriel.’

‘Oh great, you too, Garth? Really?’

Garth just shook his head and stared at Gabriel with disapproval. ‘We’re behind schedule now, man. I can’t just let that go.’

‘Well you’re just wasting even more time yelling at me!’ Gabriel groaned, collapsing into a nearby chair.

‘Gabriel!’ Dean barked, looking entirely done with the situation and his co-host. ‘I’m sick of your shit. Get up. I hope your piece of tail was worth it.’

‘Oh she was,’ Gabriel replied, smiling wickedly. ‘Complete _animal_ in the sack and-‘

‘Dude!’ Garth protested. ‘No details.’

‘You are such a virgin.’

The crease between Garth’s eyebrows deepened. ‘I think you’ll find my special lady is-‘

‘Alright, enough, guys, seriously,’ Dean cut in, rubbing a hand over his face; he appeared exhausted. ‘Can we at least _try_ to get back on schedule? Sure, Gabriel, you’ve been nothing but a pain in the ass but can we at least get on with today?’

Gabriel’s smirk dropped off his face and he took in Dean’s exterior. ‘Sorry, bro. Sure.’

‘Good.’

Dean then left the room to fetch the rest of the camera crew who had apparently arrived a few hours prior.

‘Okay, guess we’re going to see Castiel,’ Gabriel sighed as he saw the crew approach through the room’s window.

‘Alrighty, we all set?’ Garth looked at Gabriel meaningfully.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and pushed himself out of the comfortable chair with a grunt of protest.

‘Hey, old man, you coming?’ Dean asked, standing in the doorway and jabbing a thumb behind him at the crew.

Garth let out a laugh which sounded more like a hiccup and followed the presenter out, Gabriel right behind him.

‘You gonna keep your penis in your pants when we get there? Or will you give into your urges?’

‘Shut up, Gabe,’ Dean sighed. He climbed into the car easily before his eyes rapidly widened. ‘Wait, you didn’t-‘

‘Didn’t what, Dean-o?’

Dean glared at Gabriel’s innocent expression. ‘If you _did_ anything in the car, I swear to god, I will kick you in the dick so hard you’ll never be able to get it up again.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looked up some motel names that were used in Supernatural and... there... The Pink Pearl. Epitome of class.  
> I know that Gabriel/Meg is a bit weird but trust me, this all comes together, okay? And I promise Castiel's in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I haven't proofread but I'll go back over it later-

‘Motherfuck, that is _huge_.’

‘You said he lives alone?’ Garth asked, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

Dean shrugged before heaving himself out of the car. ‘That’s what the dude said. Guess he’s just loaded.’

‘His house is bigger than mine… How is that possible?!’ Gabriel screeched, outraged.

‘Shut up, Gabe, let’s just get this over with.’

‘You’re always so grumpy,’ Gabriel grumbled with a pout.

‘No, really?! I thought I was full of sunshine and shat out rainbows!’ Dean rolled his eyes and stamped off towards the front door.

Gabriel huffed out a sigh and followed his co-host, Garth holding up the camera and recording the whole thing.

‘Okay, you gonna knock or am I?’

‘I think you should,’ Gabriel sniggered.

Dean exhaled loudly and mumbled something along the lines of ‘fucking get over it’ and slowly yet firmly rapped on the door twice.

‘Pussy,’ Gabriel masked under a coughing fit.

‘Shut uh- hey there!’ Dean plastered on a false smile and extended his hand towards the man in front of him. Castiel, Dean presumed from his incredible likeness to the person he’d been video chatting with before, squinted at Dean’s outstretched hand and gingerly took it.

‘Hello, Dean.’

And Jesus, his voice without distortion…

Gabriel’s even louder coughing fit scattered with laughter told Dean that maybe he’d whispered that out loud.

‘Hey, Castiel!’ Gabriel said cheerfully, pulling him into an unexpected hug.

‘Oh, hello, Gabriel.’

‘I’m Garth, and I’d hug ya but the camera equipment…’ Garth shrugged and pouted.

Castiel acknowledged him with a nod. ‘Uhm… Would you like to come in?’

‘Yeah, and, dude, nice house,’ Gabriel clapped him on the shoulder as he passed and Dean simply nodded at him again.

‘Yes, I suppose it is.’

‘Suppose? Man, this place is sweeter than mine and I’ve got a fucking- wait, you’ve got a game room too?! Shit!’ Gabriel excitedly ran over to one of the rooms on the left and, instantly, computerized noise flowed out into the hallway.

‘Christ, sorry about him, dude’s a kid.’ Dean shook his head and sighed deeply.

‘No, it’s alright. That room’s mainly for my sister when she visits anyway.’

‘A chick?!’ Gabriel screeched and ran back out. ‘You simply _must_ introduce me.’ Gabriel sidled up to Castiel and slung his arm around his shoulders, something Castiel looked incredibly uncomfortable with.

‘She’s a lesbian.’

Gabriel’s face sank for a moment before he perked up. ‘Hey, do you think she’d-‘

‘Enough, Gabe, fucking enough. Sorry, Cas, look, back to the show, Garth got the stuff we needed for us first meeting you and the rest of the crew are just going to come in and film everything else, alright?’

Castiel smiled a little and nodded, making Dean blush slightly. ‘Okay. Thank you, Dean.’

‘Not much of a talker, are ya?’ Gabriel asked, clicking his tongue.

‘So where’s your computer?’ Garth asked, looking strangely between Dean and Castiel.

‘I usually use the one in the kitchen but if you’d like to be more comfortable we can go to my room.’

Dean stared at Castiel wide eyed. ‘How many computers do you have exactly?’

‘Four and… laptops.’

Gabriel whistled lowly. ‘You’re loaded, man.’

Castiel shook his head slowly and gulped. ‘No, my parents… were… they left this to me.’

A slightly awkward silence settled over the four men before Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. ‘I know how it feels. I’m sorry… Uh, computer then?’

Cas smiled gratefully and led them upstairs, the rest of the crew following behind.

‘His jeans are damn tight,’ Gabriel murmured into Dean’s ear.

‘Shut up,’ Dean hissed, his neck growing hot. They really _were_ tight jeans but he decided to focus on Castiel’s back which was covered in a more baggy white dress shirt.

‘So you’ve been talking to this… Samandriel dude for two years?’

‘Yes, that’s correct.’

‘No face to face contact at all?’

‘No. We haven’t even spoken on the phone. He doesn’t own one.’

Gabriel and Dean shared a look. ‘Well that’s bullshit, you say he’s a photographer? He’d need a phone to talk with clients, wouldn’t he?’

Castiel paused halfway up the second flight of stairs and looked down at his feet, his Adam’s apple bobbing. ‘I suppose…’

‘No, he definitely would. Sounds already like he’s been lying to you.’

Castiel turned to look at Gabriel with an almost distraught expression. ‘It seems that way, yes, but I’ve just never wanted to believe it. He’s made me feel happy and… I feel I can trust him.’

Dean looked at him with pity. ‘I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this but…’

The other man exhaled loudly and nodded before continuing up the stairs.

‘Shit, look at him,’ Gabriel muttered, shaking his head. ‘I almost don’t wanna find this bastard.’

Dean pursed his lips before starting up the stairs again. ‘You and me both.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it would almost seem that I'd disappeared off the face of the earth however, as I am miraculously updating, that is not true. I'm so sorry for leaving this update so late, and I'm actually doing it hurriedly now because I'm going to see The Desolation Of Smaug in right about now... Anyway! I've been seriously lacking motivation and the ability to care about anything so it's amazing that this chapter actually exists... I hope this was okay and I'm going to try to update everything else that I'm behind on when I return tonight.Yeah, good luck with that. The next chapter will be much longer and might even be up later tonight :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was going to make it a lot longer but, alas, no more I could write

‘He’s pretty hot,’ Gabriel said with a shrug, leaning over Castiel’s shoulder at the photo on the screen. Castiel and Dean frowned in unison and glared at Gabriel. ‘What?’

‘I think he is incredibly aesthetically pleasing,’ Castiel murmured.

‘Well, I mean I’m not like fully gay so I can’t-‘

‘Dude, you don’t have to be gay to appreciate how hot a guy is,’ Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Gabriel flinched back and a slow, wicked grin spread across his lips. ‘O- _kay_ then.’

Garth cleared his throat behind them and urged them on.

‘So! Samandriel…?’

‘Johnston.’

‘Ah, and you’ve been messaging him over…?’

‘Tumblr.’

Dean frowned at Gabriel, confused. ‘The heck is Tumblr?’

‘Do you have _any_ contact with your fan base at all?’ Gabriel sighed. ‘I made you one like a year ago… Ah, crap, I didn’t delete all those porn posts before I put your blog on hiatus, did I?’

‘You’re a dick. That’s not the point. So, how do you communicate on this thing? It’s looks friggin’ weird.’

Castiel leaned forward slightly, a little anxious of the fact that Dean and Gabriel could see what his blog was like. Before he could even open up his inbox, however, Dean’s eyes flickered to the only reblog in view.

‘Cool. I love Iron Man.’

Castiel squeezed his eyes closed and nodded tightly. ‘Cool.’

Dean’s eyebrows drew together and he stared at Cas’ profile until Gabriel jabbed him in the side with his elbow, sniggering.

‘So you haven’t deleted any of your messages?’ Gabriel asked, squinting and the huge list of conversation Castiel was scrolling down.

He shook his head and continued to scroll. ‘No, I… I treasure them too much…’ He cleared his throat and shuffled slightly in his seat. ‘At the beginning, he was the one to message me so I don’t have any of our earliest messages. However, I messaged his blog after that so… I’ve got all of the conversation.’

‘Tumbler’s weird.’

‘You know, when you say it, I can _hear_ you putting in an extra e.’ Gabriel rolled his eyes at his bewildered looking friend and then turned back to the screen. ‘Woah, woah, stop scrolling a sec… is that another selfie of his?’

Castiel blushed slightly. ‘I have only received two pictures of him and in… in that one… he… he’s shirtless.’

Dean coughed and grinned. ‘You send him one back?’

Castiel’s eyes bugged and he focused back on his computer screen. ‘I may have.’

‘Cassie, my boy! I would have never guessed!’

‘It was only to the chest…’ Castiel mumbled, grinning.

‘I bet it was,’ Gabriel whispered with a lecherous wink sent in Castiel’s direction. ‘Okay, so what do you guys usually tell each other when you’re not sending half naked pics? How do you act around each other?’

A crease settled between Cas’ eyebrows as he thought. ‘Well, I suppose we act as if we were together. He often sends me flirtatious messages and I respond, uh, similarly.’

Gabriel smiled warmly at Castiel’s tone of voice and once again threw his arm over his shoulders. ‘Okay, so I’m not too confident… or at all confident, that this dude is the dude he’s saying he is, I mean, two pictures, c’mon. _But_ he probably cares about you a buttload and me ‘n Dean are gonna find him, okay? …Dean?’

‘Huh? Oh! Yeah. We’ll find him and, uh, you guys… you guys can be together… hopefully.’

Cas locked eyes with Dean for a long moment before breaking away and smiling up at Gabriel. ‘Thank you. I’m incredibly grateful you’d do this for me.’

‘Hey! We all deserve that special someone.’

‘I am thankful, all the same.’

Gabriel clapped his hands together, the sound loud in the almost silent room. ‘Got any candy?’

Dean ‘tsked’ and stood up from his chair. ‘Gabe, you’re practically a billionaire or whatever and you’re stealing candy?’

‘Sadly, not even a millionaire, and I took a little glimpse at Cassie’s pantry and, let me tell you, he’s stocked up.’ Gabriel looked at his client expectantly. ‘You can’t lie to me, I know you’ve got the goods.’

‘The candy is, also, mainly for my sis-‘

‘Excuses, excuses,’ Gabriel muttered as he scuttled off back downstairs. The crew, including Garth began to follow, hoping to get some extra footage of Gabriel.

‘Yeah, if you’re not used to him, he can really piss you off,’ Dean supplied, noticing Castiel looked slightly bothered by Gabriel’s behaviour. ‘Hell, even if you’re used to him, he pisses you off.’

Castiel smirked and turned to Dean. ‘So why do you still do the show with him?’

Dean’s eyes widened comically and he mumbled his answer as if he were embarrassed by it. ‘I… I suppose he’s kinda… lovable… in a… fucked up way…’

A wider grin stretched across Cas’ face. ‘I enjoy watching you both.’

‘Kinda creepy there, Cas.’

‘On the television.’

‘I know…’ Dean cleared his throat. ‘Thanks.’

Castiel cocked his head to the side and searched Dean’s face again. _What are you looking for?_

‘You should go downstairs,’ Castiel finally said.

Dean nodded briskly but stayed still, thoroughly confused by the other man’s behaviour. In the end, it was Castiel who was first to leave the room and Dean who was left alone in the strange man’s bedroom.

‘Great.’


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuses, excuses: my laptop broke and then school happened...

A casually dressed redhead wearing sound cancelling headphones strolled into the kitchen as if she owned the place, throwing two pieces of gum into her mouth. As soon as she spotted Gabriel staring her and the film crew she reacted as if she’d heard a gunshot, instantly taking off the headphones and hyperventilating.

‘Who are you?’

Gabriel sniggered. ‘You’re awesome.’

The woman raised an eyebrow in question and her breathing slowed. She straightened and narrowed her eyes. ‘No, seriously, what are you doing in my brother’s kitchen? What’s with the… the-‘ She gestured wildly at the three cameras, two of which that were pointed at her.

‘Hi there, my name’s Gabriel, I co-host a show called Hellhounds all about online relationships, yadda, yadda, yadda. Is that a Star Wars shirt? Dean would be all over you.’ Gabriel grinned and extended his hand to Castiel’s sister. She stepped forward, suddenly confident and shook it.

‘Charlie. Hey… Uh, so, my brother’s… Oh! Yeah, shit, yeah, he was telling me about this. Oops.’

Gabriel shrugged. ‘These things happen. You have any sob stories about Cassie? That shit sells and we would be _delighted_ to have your positively gorgeous face on the nation’s screens.’

Charlie eyed Gabriel’s smug smile and shook her head. ‘Nah, I’m cool. I just came to steal some of Cas’ food.’ She snapped her gum and then grinned. ‘But I’m sure Abbie’d be downright thrilled to share some of Cas’ more private moments.’

‘Great! …Who’s Abbie?’ Gabriel waited for Charlie to respond but she just smirked and walked around him and the crew to the pantry, completely blanking him. After she left the room, Gabriel turned to the cameras with an exaggerated look of disappointment.

‘Gabe, what have I told you about posing for the cameras,’ Dean sighed, sauntering into the kitchen with Castiel.

‘Dean! Cas! I just met your absolutely lovely sister!’ Dean winced at the volume of Gabriel’s voice.

Castiel wore the same almost disinterested expression. ‘Which one?’

Gabriel tilted his head. ‘How many are there exactly? And Charlie.’

Cas smiled slightly and nodded his head. ‘I have three half-sisters and two older brothers.’

Suddenly Gabriel seemed about five hundred times more interested. ‘Three, huh? Tell me, are they all redheads?’ Gabriel’s eyebrows waggled and Dean simply rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly.

‘Yes,’ Castiel answered in a monotone voice before leaving the room, presumably to find Charlie.

‘Did I piss him off?’

Dean shook his head in exasperation. ‘You know, we’re supposed to be focusing on Cas, not just on where you wanna shove your dick, okay?’

‘Three redheads, Dean. _Three_!’ Gabriel whined. ‘It’s like… heaven! I bet they’re all as hot as this Charlie…’

‘Gabriel, can we please just focus on finding out what creep Cas is talking to?!’

Gabriel frowned at Dean before smoothing out his expression and dismissively lifting his shoulders.

‘Okay.’ Dean breathed in deeply to calm himself. ‘Now… where is he?’

*

Castiel found Charlie in her usual position; on the floor, eyes glued to the flat screen, fingers flying expertly over the Xbox controller.

‘Hello, Charlie.’

She acknowledged him with a short nod before finishing up the level she was on and pressing pause. ‘Okay, so what’s up with the you not telling me they were filming _today_?’ she asked, whirling around to face him.

He sighed and leaned forward. ‘Sorry, I had a lot on my mind.’

‘S’okay… just, next time, let me know so I’m not actually in the house.’

‘Maybe you’ve learnt your lesson now not to just charge in uninvited all the damn time,’ Castiel chuckled.

Charlie smiled and got up to sit next to her brother on the couch. ‘Oh you know me, brother, that’s never gonna happen… So, you’re gonna finally meet this Sam dude, then?’

Castiel nodded, a light blush dusting his cheeks. ‘Looks like.’

‘Aw, bro! This is awesome, maybe now you can _finally_ get some action!’

Cas frowned and slapped her upper arm. ‘Shut your mouth, it’s not like you’re any better than me in that department.’

Charlie raised an eyebrow. ‘Uh, excuse me? I’ve got girls _begging_ to spend a night with the queen.’

‘Sure,’ Castiel muttered.

‘Uh, Cas?’ Castiel looked up to show Charlie he was listening. ‘Abbie and Anna are on their way… I may or may not have mentioned that you just restocked your food supply…’

A frustrated sound left Cas’ mouth. ‘Charlie!’

‘What! It’s not like I expected there to be a freakin’ film crew waiting in the kitchen!’

Cas shook his head and sighed again, getting up off the sofa. ‘I best get back to them, it was rather rude of me to leave and-‘ Castiel was cut off by the sound of the doorbell going off. Anna was the most polite of the triplets and didn’t simply barge in like Charlie. And if Abbie had the opportunity, she’d definitely kick down the door simply to make an entrance she was satisfied with. Although Castiel appreciated that Anna didn’t just walk in, he did _not_ need all three of his sisters in the house right now.

‘I’ll get it!’ Charlie said chirpily, bouncing up from the sofa and out of the room. Castiel could feel a headache coming on.

‘Castiel, please tell me you have red velvet cake, I have a craving,’ Abbie said coolly in lieu of a greeting.

‘Yeah, sure, help yourself, watch out for the cameras, the usual.’

As he expected, that broke through his sister’s normal air of disinterest. She stopped and then turned to face him, red lips turned down at the corners in a slight scowl. ‘Cameras?’

Charlie answered for him, for which he was somewhat grateful. ‘You remember Cas was telling you about Samandriel?’

‘You internet crush? I may recall…’

‘Yeah, him, well, these guys are going to help him meet up with him! Isn’t it cute!’

‘Sounds positively adorable!’ Anna said from the doorway, wearing a large smile. Castiel looked at the ceiling, praying that Dean walked in a saved him from his sisters’ mocking.

‘Oh, please, Castiel, don’t let us keep you,’ Abbie murmured, looking at Cas’ uncomfortable exterior and smirking.

‘I didn’t even invite you,’ he grumbled before taking the opportunity and leaving his sisters in the games room. He returned to the kitchen to see the film crew, Dean and Gabriel standing around awkwardly; it was almost comical.

‘Hello. I’m sorry about that. I had to attend to my sisters.’

Gabriel seemed to perk up at that. ‘Oh, so the others have arrived?’

Castiel frowned and decided to stand nearer to Dean that Gabriel. ‘Yes, but I’ll warn you that Abbie is already interested in another and Anna is engaged.’

Gabriel’s smile dropped. ‘That is a damn shame.’

‘Yes… Um, would you wish to know more about Samandriel?’

‘Actually, I think we’ve got enough right now to go on. How about you forward me the picture, or pictures, he sent you and then me ‘n Gabe over there will get to work on finding out who this dude is. I know he doesn’t look like he is, but Gabriel’s actually pretty damn good and finding people,’ Dean answered.

‘Was that a compliment? Dean, I’m flattered.’

Dean ignored his co-host and smiled warmly at Castiel. ‘So, we’ll get out of your hair for today and let you know when we’ve got somethin’. Sound good?’

Castiel returned the smile and nodded. ‘That sounds great. Thank you, honestly, for helping me. It means a lot.’

Gabriel, appearing serious for a change, shook his head. ‘Don’t worry about it, man. You deserve to know who he is.’

The grin stayed on Castiel’s face. Dean may have had trouble looking away from Cas’ happy face.

Gabriel snapped his fingers as he remembered something. ‘Oh! Are you _completely_ positive he didn’t send you, like, a dick pic?’

To say Castiel blushed was an understatement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like writing Castiel and Charlie... Sorry if this appeared filler-y, I just wanted it to lead on okay-ish from the previous chapter. I promise Dean and Gabriel are going to do some Samandriel investigating in the next chapter. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay! I'm bad at life, school and updates and that is all you need to know.

‘Nope, no rest for you,’ Dean growled, pinching Gabriel’s side as he walked past. Gabriel whined and leaped up from where he’d sprawled himself out on the motel bed.

‘But Dean! We’ve been working all day!’

Dean raised an eyebrow at him and in one swift movement opened up his laptop. ‘Gabriel, all you did was stand around and make inappropriate comments. That is not called work.’

‘Well all I _had_ to do was stand around, look pretty and be entertaining! And that is exactly what I did, thank you and goodnight.’ Gabe flung himself back onto the bed.

Dean shook his head and strode over to the radio, blaring the classic rock station as loud as it would go. Gabriel practically jumped out of his skin, falling off the bed with a scowl.

‘Get the hell off your ass, Batman.’

Gabriel rubbed said ass as it had cushioned the fall. He heaved himself up off the floor and moved over to the laptop. Garth was close behind, desperately trying to hide his giggles and keep the camera straight.

The rest of the crew followed behind Garth and focused their equipment on Dean and Gabriel.

‘Okay, so, first thing’s first, Cassie send you the pictures?’

Dean cleared his throat and reached over to click his email. ‘Uh, yeah. Look.’

‘Great. Alrighty, let’s image search this stud muffin,’ Gabriel said, wagging his eyebrows. Dean rolled his eyes but watched on with interest. ‘Ah… That’s not Samandriel.’

‘Alfie “ _Angel_ ” Johnston,’ Dean read aloud, voice almost breaking from repressed laughter at the Angel.

‘Jesus, who _is_ this guy,’ Gabriel tittered, flicking through a few of his pictures. ‘Ahah! More shirtless photos that he probably sent our poor client!’

Dean stroked his chin and chewed his lip, suddenly shaking his head. ‘Or, it’s not him and someone’s using his pictures. Gabe, have a look at his friend list… Does Cas have a Facebook?’

‘Should’ve asked… Oh well, maybe we should just message this Alfie kid. I mean, imagine if some scumbag was using _your_ face, Dean-o. You’d wanna know.’

‘They probably are, Gabe,’ Dean responded with an eye roll. ‘But yeah, send him a message. Actually, no, give the laptop here.’

‘Oo! So demanding.’

‘Shut up, Gabe. Okay, we don’t want to come off as too intimidating.’

‘Dean, you _never_ come across as intimidating, _never_.’

Dean stopped typing and turned his exasperated expression towards Gabriel. ‘Your sarcasm is terrible, man. Look, we gotta get this right for Cas. Find out who’s been drooling over his shirtless pictures.’

‘I would laugh so hard if we find out it’s you.’

And Dean thought that the appropriate time to _lightly_ smack Gabriel upside the head. At least it kept him quiet, if only for a few seconds.

‘Okay, message sent: Hey, Alfie. My name’s Dean and I’m a co-host of the show Hellhounds; it’s about internet relationships. We’re concerned someone’s been using your photos, posing as you, on the site Tumblr and exchanging messages with a man named Castiel. If you could ring us, that would be perfect. And then I put the number,’ Dean read aloud.

Gabriel nodded in mild approval. ‘It’ll do. S’not like I can change anything, anyway, you already sent it, asshole.’ Gabriel then swivelled around in his chair, face up close to the camera. He winked and clicked his fingers. To Dean’s annoyance, Gabriel doing that had been extremely popular among their viewers, so he had just kept doing it. ‘The ladies love the signature move,’ Gabriel breathed, turning his wink on Dean.

‘And now we wait,’ Garth said, still rolling in case the kid was extremely quick with his response.

‘Yeah, this is going to make riveting television. Well done, g-‘ Dean was cut off by the sound of his cell ringing. He looked up, wide-eyed, at Garth. ‘Son of a bitch.’

Hastily, he answered, putting the call on speaker phone. ‘Hello?’

‘Uh, hi?’ He sounded nervous.

‘Who’s this?’ As if Dean didn’t already know who it was.

‘This is A-Alfie. Is this Dean?’

Dean smirked at how his voice broke, figuring that the guy couldn’t have been more than seventeen… and his shirtless pictures had been sent to the mid-twenties Castiel. He shuddered a little, feeling uncomfortable about how they’d been in contact for two years.

‘Yeah, hey, Alf, thanks for callin’. So, uh, obviously, I have a few questions.’

‘Standard internet perv procedure,’ Gabriel added helpfully. Dean shot a dark glare at his co-host but carried on speaking in the same cheery tone.

‘Would you be prepared to answer?’

Alfie paused for a moment before taking a shaky breath. ‘Look, dude, I have no idea w-why you think… think that I’m… that I have anything to do with this.’

Dean and Gabriel frowned at each other. ‘Uhm, well, we told you, someone’s been using your photos… we think. Or you did a piss poor job of creating another internet persona or something, messing with some poor guy’s head.’

They heard another sharp intake of breath over the phone. ‘ _Fuck_ ,’ he murmured softly.

‘Not suspicious at _all_ ,’ Dean mouthed to Gabriel.

‘Uh, look, guys, I don’t know what you expect me to tell you, I mean, it- I… I didn’t know. And… yeah, I didn’t know… about the photos. Okay.’

‘Shady as fuck,’ Gabriel agreed, again, barely breathing his words. His voice returned to its normal volume when he addressed Alfie. ‘Well gee, thanks for your answers, man. Really, totally helped with the investigation, thanks.’

Dean shoved Gabriel’s shoulder. ‘Uh, listen, Alfie, I guess this is a bad time for you to talk or something so maybe call us back when you feel like sharin’ a little more?’

Another long pause took place before the younger man answered. ‘Yeah. That would be good, I’ll call you if I wanna- can tell you… anything. Okay, goodbye.’

Dean and Gabriel flinched back slightly at the abrupt ending to the call and stared at each other for a moment before Dean picked up the phone and shoved it in his pocket, shrugging.

‘Well he at least has to know something, right? I mean, no one acts that nervous over a simple phone call, we’re getting somewhere.’

Garth lowered the camera he was holding and squinted his eyes at the hosts. ‘Phone calls can be scary.’

Dean rolled his eyes. ‘Sure, Garth. Uh, Gabe, you call Cas, alright? Let him know we’ll be over in the morning. Maybe we can get more research done on this guy before then too.’

‘Sure, Mr Boss Man,’ Gabriel replied with a salute before striding out of the room, stealing the cell from Dean’s pocket. The rest of the crew soon followed out, hoping to get some extra footage. Garth stayed behind with Dean as he exhaled heavily.

He shook his head and looked up at the bumpy texture of the motel ceiling. ‘Poor fucker.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, just like last year, I've left this a little late, but next weekend I'm going to be at Asylum 12 even if it's ridiculous because eXAMS. So if you're going too it would be great to get to know some new people, message me on tumblr if you want or something. Okay, goodbye, I will update soon-ish but yeah, as I mentioned, I have a ton of exams  
> Tumblr url: jensenflapjackles


	9. Chapter 9

Dean cleared his throat and took a deep breath, much to Gabriel’s amusement, before ringing the doorbell.

‘Hi,’ Castiel mumbled as soon as he swung the door open. He warily glanced between Dean and Gabriel, slowly shuffling backwards to give them the space to walk inside. Dean quirked an eyebrow but didn’t comment on Cas’ strange behaviour as he entered the house, followed by Gabriel and the camera crew.

‘So, Cas, let’s get straight to business, we did some research, as we do, on your boy Sammy and it’s not lookin’ great,’ Gabriel opened with once they’d made their way into the kitchen (which was thankfully devoid of redheads).

Dean bit his lip as Castiel’s expression dropped. ‘Oh.’ God, he sounded sad and pathetic and like someone who really needed a hug that Dean was completely willing to give. Hurriedly, he shook himself out of that train of thought and proceeded to deal with the task at hand.

‘We searched his photos and we immediately came up with a profile,’ Dean said, bringing out his laptop from his messenger bag and propping it on the kitchen counter, waking it up to show the Facebook page.

Cas’ eyebrows lifted as he looked at the familiar face. ‘Yep… That’s him.’

Gabriel nodded. ‘Yah, but, thing is, this dude’s not called Samandriel, although he _does_ have “Angel” in his name which, although fucking hilarious, is also pretty damn suspect.’

Castiel pursed his lips and leaned back against the counter, running a hand back and forth over his stubble. Dean resolutely ignored that movement and again focused on the laptop.

‘So what we decided to do was find out if this guy is a victim of a Hellhound as much as you are, _or_ is the actual Hellhound who was just… basically a bit shit at hiding his identity.’

‘Our best bet is that he’s simply an incompetent Hellhound,’ Gabriel stage whispered to the camera. Dean’s eyes rolled but he continued with relaying what they’d found to Castiel.

‘The reason Gabe thinks that is because we messaged him, telling him what we were doing. We gave him my number in case he wanted to call us.’

Castiel hummed once Dean finished talking, the sound muffled due to the fact that he was anxiously biting his nails. Worry lines were etched on his worn face as his eyebrows drew together. Briefly, he moved his fingers away from his face to talk. ‘So, did he call you… or…’

‘Yeah, he called. And he sounded like he had barely hit puberty,’ Gabriel chuckled but Cas paled. Noticing Castiel’s stiffness, Dean was quick to jump in.

‘No, dude, it’s fine, we reckon he’s definitely legal. You’re not a… ya know.’ Castiel visibly relaxed slightly, but his muscles were still taut and he carried on chewing his nails. Dean cleared his throat. ‘So, yeah, we think he probably sounded like that because he was just shocked and nervous.’ Dean determinedly ignored the lifted eyebrows and pointed expression that had been shot his way from Gabriel, and instead stared ahead at Castiel. ‘We had a talk with him, not much was said, really, but he seemed pretty suspicious so we’re definitely thinking that he’s involved. He could be the actual guy behind it, or he could be working with someone else for some reason. It’s happened before. You have any idea if someone you know could be behind this? Like as… revenge or something?’

Dean bit his lip to keep from smiling at Castiel’s adorable confused expression. ‘Uh… No, there’s no one I can think of that would do that… I don’t know _why_ anyone would want to do that to me anyway. I mostly keep to myself…’

Gabriel nodded and sighed, shrugging. ‘Well, all we can do now is play the waiting game, hope he calls us again. His profile’s the strongest thing to go on as it’s definitely those pictures your guy’s been using, plus a few more, right?’ Cas nodded but didn’t make eye contact. ‘So who knows, maybe this Alfie profile is actually the fake one! So, let us know if he tries to contact you on Tumblr and we’ll call you if we find anything else out, kay?’

Again, Cas nodded but stepped forward slightly. ‘Thank you… I might message _him_ … I mean, I guess if he acts differently or doesn’t reply that might… be an indication that it’s this… Alfie? Possibly?’

Dean smiled, impressed. ‘Sure, that would be great, actually. Send us an email letting us know.’

‘Okay, I’m gonna stop filming now, awesome job, guys!’ Garth announced, lowering the camera and sporting a large grin.

‘Normally people just say cut, Garth,’ Gabriel mumbled as he passed him.

‘Uhm, do you want anything?’

‘Huh?’ Dean asked dumbly, staring at Cas’ mouth as he spoke again.

‘I mean, do you want anything to eat or drink while you’re here?’

Dean pondered accepting his offer but eventually shook his head. ‘Nah, I’m good man, I better get back to the motel. Looks like Gabe’s already halfway to the car… But thanks… Might take a rain check?’ Dean inwardly winced and barely stopped himself from slapping himself in the face. _You’re a complete idiot_.

But to his surprise, Cas smiled and it was genuine. All the worry seemed to have seeped from his body and his grin could have lit up the room. Dean could barely keep his jaw from hitting the floor. ‘That would be great.’

They stood in silence for a few moments before it grew awkward and Cas’ smile dimmed, becoming forced. Dean cleared his throat again and glanced around him, noting that he and Cas were alone in the kitchen. ‘So! I, uh, better head off… I’ll see you… tomorrow probably… Okay, bye,’ Dean muttered quickly before hastily turning around to head back through the house to the car.

When he reached it, he spied Gabriel’s face through the windshield and, of course, he was wearing a knowing smirk. Grudgingly, Dean opened the door and slipped into the driver’s seat, his face blank, waiting for Gabriel to say something.

‘I certainly hope you weren’t making out with our client off camera, Dean-o.’

‘Fuck off,’ Dean groused before turning the key in the ignition and backing out of the driveway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dunno if I'm happy with this?


	10. Chapter 10

As Castiel logged in, he could feel his nerves building up. His hands shook and his teeth dug into his bottom lip. To his surprise, his inbox was already waiting with a message indicating that, most likely Samandriel, had contacted him.

* _Hey, Cas_.*

Castiel frowned at the short amount of text and inwardly cursed at the fact that he couldn’t keep the message. He could taste blood in his mouth from biting his lips too hard. He nearly slapped himself, remembering that he could just screenshot them.

* _Hello, Samandriel. How are you today_?*

He knew he sounded way too formal but he didn’t care, he just needed to find out if Samandriel had been lying to him, which seemed incredibly likely at this point. Cas thought back over conversation and wondered how the hell he’d been so blind. Samandriel had barely shared any information with him, just the odd detail when Castiel specifically asked in order to satiate him. Sure, he’d been there for him, but what else had he really done? Cas had been so swept up in the idea of Samandriel, that he’d completely blocked out most of the warning signs that the entire relationship was based on a lie.

After refreshing the page for the twelfth time, a message popped up in his inbox.

* _I’m great._ *

Even though he’d been expecting it, the drop of his stomach hurt. Obviously Samandriel was pissed off at him which meant... Well, it meant that he’d been playing him and Castiel had fallen for it. He let out a long exhale and rubbed at his eyes, glancing over at his phone. Since Samandriel was being un-cooperative and not initiating further conversation, he decided to talk to one of his sisters. Charlie was probably his best bet.

‘ _Cas_?’

‘Hey, Charlie… Uh… You know Saman-‘

‘ _Oh my god, are you okay_?’

Cas rolled his eyes and then began picking at his nails, his phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder. ‘I think I’m going to get a cat. They’re nice company, right?’

‘ _It’s worse than I thought… So the guys found out who he really is_?’

Castiel rattled the whole situation off to Charlie, catching her little hums of acknowledgement. He felt like an idiot, frankly, because Charlie had already told him what her thoughts were on whether or not Samandriel was who he said he was.

‘ _Cas… I didn’t really want to tell you this but I kinda… already did some research on him_.’

His face was completely blank. ‘So you did exactly what the Hellhounds are currently doing.’

‘ _Yes…_ ’

‘And therefore I don’t need to be broadcasted on national television due to the fact that you can reveal to me exactly who he is.’

‘ _Technically, but_ -‘

‘But what? How long have you known about it and kept it from me?’ Castiel felt a slight swell of hurt that she’d looked into Samandriel without his knowledge or consent.

‘ _I know you’ve always had a thing for that Dean guy_ -‘

Cas’ cheeks reddened and he looked around him, stupidly trying to see if anyone was listening in, maybe even Dean himself. ‘Charlie!’ he hissed.

‘ _So_ ,’ she continued, as if he’d never spoken. ‘ _I thought I’d keep my mouth shut and be an amazing sister and almost silently guide you towards going on the show_ …’

‘You fucker,’ Cas forced out, staring ahead at his screen that was upsettingly barren of any new messages.

‘ _They found exactly what I did, Cas. I just didn’t go so far as to call the guy_.’

‘No, but what you did do was allow _me_ to _email_ a TV show _months_ ago.’

‘ _I think this is my cue to hang up, I can literally hear your head gearing up for an explosion of rage and terror, adios my brother_!’

‘No! Don’t do that! Charl- Charlie?’ He knew it was already too late and his suspicions were confirmed when he pulled his phone away from his ear and saw that she’d disconnected the call. He scratched at his cheek before deciding to send Samandr- _Alfie_ another message.

 * _Are you free to talk_?*

He inwardly cringed at his obvious and pathetic conversation prompter, but figured it was better than nothing. He picked up a pen and started mindlessly doodling as he waited for the response. When it came, Cas felt marginally better about what he’d typed.

* _Look, Cas, I’m going away for a little bit and need to pack so I can’t really message right now. Sorry._ *

Cas smiled bitterly and logged out. This was especially odd considering that he’d initiated the conversation in the first place, not Cas. Maybe he’d just wanted to come across as less affected.

Well, at least he’d uncovered something.

*

Dean nibbled on his bottom lip and tapped his forefinger against the wireless mouse without actually clicking on anything.

‘I think we’ve got him…’

‘No shit, Sherlock, look at how suspect those messages are!’ Gabriel sighed. ‘It’s obviously the guy we talked to.’

Garth lowered the camera and leaned forward slightly, keeping his voice quiet. ‘Uh, Gabriel, you don’t need to be so hard on Dean, he’s pretty darn tense already.’

Dean slowly turned his head to look at Garth. Gabriel barely supressed a snigger and held his hands up in surrender. ‘Okay, Garth, no harm done, just a little gentle ribbing.’

Dean rolled his eyes and then shook his head, turning back to the computer. He could see Cas hovering by the door, chewing at his nails. He honestly felt for the guy, as he did for all of the people that came on the show, genuinely believing that they’d found love and trust only to have it all torn down.

‘I’m gonna message him through Tumblr.’

Gabriel slapped his hand away from the keyboard with a mock expression of confusion. ‘But _how_ will you contact him if he’s busy packing for his little vacation?’

Dean rolled his eyes. ‘I think he’ll find it in him to respond.’

‘I don’t know but… we should try,’ Cas mumbled cautiously before edging forward and squinting at the computer screen.

‘I think I’m doing it right… Cas, am I- how the hell does this- son of a bitch. I-‘

Cas chuckled and removed Dean’s hand from the mouse, replacing it with his own. Dean didn’t miss the way Castiel’s tongue poked out of the corner of his lips as he navigated the cursor. He was so close to him that it would be pretty hard to not stare at. Cas glanced down at Dean amusedly for a split second before looking away again with a smirk.

‘I’ll take it from here,’ Dean managed out scratchily. He could feel the movements of the vibrations in the air telling him that Gabriel was laughing.

Thankfully, Castiel stepped back and allowed Dean to fill the message box with the usual ‘ _we want to meet you… Cas would really love it… It would help your relationship… blah blah blah_ ’. Dean read it out as he typed it for the show’s purposes and looked around at Gabriel and Cas for confirmation.

‘Sounds pretty much like every other message you’ve ever sent to a Hellhound,’ Gabriel commented, slapping Dean’s shoulder. ‘Good job.’

‘You don’t have to be so damn patronising all the time, di-‘

Castiel interrupted Dean’s grumbling by tapping his shoulder and pointing at the refreshed page. The inbox icon was lit up with a little red 1. Without wasting any more time, Dean clicked it and a smile spread across his face as he read the single word answer.

* _okay_ *


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, I'm really sorry for the delay, but here you go, thE SAMANDRIEL MEETING wow, I had this planned like last year and it's finally coming to pass which is... I'm slightly disgusted it has taken me this long.  
> Anyway, yes, I also have the last few chapters planned out now so it shouldn't be too long until the end :)

They decided on meeting in a park just out of town and Dean was kind of surprised at how close the guy must live. To string Cas along at such a close distance was an asshole move and Dean felt himself get unnecessarily angry over it. Cas seemed to notice this and tapped Dean’s arm.

‘Yeah?’ Dean asked, not looking away from the road, involuntarily gripping the steering wheel a little tighter in response to Castiel’s touch. Gabriel snickered in the back seat but didn’t comment, thank god.

‘Are you okay, Dean?’

‘Oh, me? Hah, yeah… Yeah, I’m… good,’ Dean replied, pausing, before slapping his forehead at the same time as Gabriel burst out laughing. ‘Shit, how are _you_?’

The corners of Cas’ lips turned up and he faced the windshield again. ‘I’m okay. I mean, I know it’s not going to be Samandriel as I know him, so… I’m ready for it.’

Dean’s stomach clenched at how stoic Castiel voice was, despite the smile, and simply nodded. ‘Yeah, it happens a lot. ‘S a shame, but… you’re takin’ it a lot better than most people.’

‘These _most people_ are usually leaning on Dean’s abs, a wailing mess, right, Winchester?’ Gabriel piped up from the backseat with his signature eyebrow wiggle.

‘Shut the hell up,’ Dean groaned as he turned the last corner before the park. The hired car slid easily into a free space and they all quickly got out of it. The weather was nice, the sun shining and lighting up the trees. Dean smiled and squinted up at the sky as he waited for Garth to stumble out of the other car with his equipment.

‘You good?!’ he called, shielding his eyes and looking over at Garth who gave him a harried thumbs up. Dean smirked and then nodded for them all to start walking across the grass to the cluster of benches on the other side of the pathway.

‘Oh shit, we’re about to walk into a one night stand, be cool, guys,’ Gabriel hissed as he spotted the woman from the other night perched on a bench in the middle of the park.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake, Gabriel,’ Dean grumbled.

Castiel pursed his lips as he glanced at Gabriel and then followed his eye line. Dean frowned at how Castiel suddenly looked extremely pissed off.

‘Oh shit, we’re about to walk into my _ex-girlfriend_ ,’ Cas growled.

Both Gabriel and Dean’s eyes widened and they focused on Cas whose fists were bunched up, knuckles white.

‘Uh, what?’ Gabriel’s tone hinted at the sickness he was starting to feel in his stomach, at the realisation.

Castiel nodded mutely and started sinking his teeth into his bottom lip.

‘I think I’ve figured it out…’ Garth pitched in, wincing when twin _shut your goddamn mouth_ looks were directed towards him. ‘Sorry!’ he whisper shouted, warily glancing towards Castiel who was practically shaking with… _rage_.

‘That’s Meg Masters,’ he forced out, finally looking towards Dean. He raised his eyebrows and then looked between Cas and Gabriel.

‘Gabe, are you _positive_ that was your one night stand?’

Gabriel screwed his face up and the most remorseful look Dean had ever seen on his friend’s face crossed it. ‘Yeah, that’s… that’s her.’

All at once, Dean let out an exasperated sigh and Meg whipped her head around and spotted them frozen in the middle of the park.

‘Hello, boys!’

Dean bit his bottom lip at the sound of her syrupy, cocky voice. ‘Cas, are you ready to do this?’ he murmured, placing a, what he hoped was comforting, hand on the small of his back. Castiel, thankfully, relaxed a little under his contact. After a brisk nod form Castiel, Dean decided to just jump right in with the questioning, letting go of Cas in the process. ‘So what did you get out of this, huh?’

Meg was dressed in a leather jacket, skinny jeans and her lips were coated in red lipstick. Her shiny brown hair fell over her shoulders in waves. ‘Is this the part where I tell you I never meant to hurt anyone?’ Her teeth were shark like as she smiled and stood up, eyes boring into Cas’. ‘That I never _intended_ to hurt feather boy?’

Dean ground his teeth together. ‘How ‘bout you just tell us why.’

She let out another melodic laugh but it really grated Dean up the wrong way. ‘Why don’t you ask our adorable Cassie, over there. He hasn’t said a word.’

Castiel snickered mirthlessly and scuffed his shoe against the ground, sniffing. ‘I told you I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with you.’

She elevated a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and moved her gaze over Dean, Cas and Gabriel. ‘And why _was_ that?’

He gulped and refused to look up at her. Dean nudged Cas in encouragement and Meg tracked the movement like a hawk, an unknown emotion bubbling up in her eyes.

‘Because… Because I knew I was gay and didn’t want to pursue the relationship further.’

‘Right, yeah, that was it, wasn’t it?’ Meg said, voice velvety and threatening. Dean was a little unnerved, if he was honest.

‘Who was the guy in the pictures to you?’ Gabriel pushed out through a dry throat. ‘I mean, we talked to him on the phone so he must have been in on it.’

She turned her dangerous stare to Gabriel. After a long pause, she said, ‘My cousin. Alfie will do anything for a quick buck. Poor runt works in Wiener Hut.’ Her cackle made Dean flinch.

‘Meg…’ Cas trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. ‘This has gone on for years. How could you be that bitter-‘

‘Oh, please, Castiel. You didn’t mean that much to me. No, this isn’t some grand revenge.’ Her eyes glistened with entertainment, waiting for Cas to look back up before continuing. ‘You’re just so easy, so _gullible_.’

Gabriel, turning the conversation back to himself like always, spoke up again. ‘Did you know who I was… in the bar?’

Meg’s expression turned to annoyance as she regarded Gabriel, obviously not appreciating the interruption. ‘Of course I did, why do you think I slept with you?’

He shook his head and looked away, mouthing at Garth to edit that part out later. Dean clenched his jaw and glared at Gabriel. ‘You know this is supposed to be about Cas, right?’

‘Sorry,’ Gabriel muttered, seeming distracted. Dean exhaled in aggravation and placed his hand on Cas’ back again.

‘Oh this is brilliant,’ Meg practically sang, picking up of the second touch as well. Dean retracted his hand as if he’d just touched hot coal.

‘What is?’ Cas asked confusedly.

‘We’ve both banged a TV star, huh.’

Castiel tilted his head in bewilderment and narrowed his eyes. Dean cleared his throat and frantically tried to bring back the confrontation part of the show. ‘But, Meg, you did this for _years_ , _just_ because you could?’

Meg wasn’t fooled but went along with it anyway. ‘I guess so. Funny how jokes turn out, right?’

‘Right.’ Dean plastered on an obviously false grin and then looked to the side at where Gabriel was suspiciously silent; this was usually his favourite part of the show. The manipulation had clearly affected him, but Den wished he’d stick to helping out Cas.

‘Dean, I think I’d like to go back to the car now,’ Cas murmured softly, briefly glancing at Meg before looking away again.

‘Sure,’ he agreed, snapping his fingers in front of Gabriel’s face to reanimate him. ‘See ya around, bitch.’ So unprofessional and out of line… but it felt good.

Meg let out a laugh and then grinned widely. ‘Probably not.’

Dean dipped his head and put his hand on Cas’ shoulder to guide him back to the car. He looked so dejected. Even though he’d built himself up for disappointment, he’d still been shocked at the outcome. Dean just hoped he could comfort him somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, I do not own Catfish nor Supernatural


End file.
